The Process... To be continued!

Yesterday, I received an email that denied my application to a doctoral program. The words of the emailed seared through my eyes. The author stated (with more or less words), "Thank you for your application to... We were really impressed with your credentials. Unfortunately, there were more qualified applicants this enrollment period..." And then the words became very blurry and my heart sank to my stomach. Automatically I thought, what am I going to do? I didn't get in. What am I going to do? I have to change my career. What am I going to do? Is there something I did wrong? What am I going to do? What were my weaknesses? What am I going to do? Well at least they were very impressed.... BUT WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? 

I received this email while at a Safe Space training that focused on being an ally for the LGBTQA community. In one of our breakout sessions, we talked about how everyone has their own journey and everyone processes things differently than others. We talked about how individuals process and manage multiple identities. We discussed how one grows into who they are. We broke down intersectional identities of race, class, gender, sex and external societal pressures. We talked about how one deals with the mixed messages of the media and combating those messages with positive thinking. But one thing stuck to my mind which is the "process" of growth and development.

Instead of sulking, mourning, and being in a period of sadness because I did not get into the program, I would rather use this moment to think about the process. I should use this moment to process my thoughts, feelings, and emotions. The process to find myself and who I am becoming. This morning I began to unpack my thoughts. I decided that this is a great time to reflect on my own development and journey as a student affairs professional. It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting (The Alchemist). When I think about the process and where I am in my own journey I settled that it's okay. I'm 26 with four years of experience. I'm right where I should be. All things are working out for my good. I don't have to think about my strengths or weaknesses. I don't have to think about what went wrong. I don't have to think about how I can get better. I don't have to doubt myself or look down upon myself. It's okay! 

I just need to think about the process. I am becoming who I am. This is great time and opportunity to think about my niche and what I'm good at. I have a great opportunity to think about who I am and where I want to go and who I want to become. I would have to say that I have a very positive outlook on the process and the outcome as I follow my Personal Legend. 

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” 
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

I still have my motivation. I will become a doctoral student. It's all apart of the process. 

Thanks for reading. Feedback is appreciated.