Tuesday, December 17, 2013

On Becoming a Black Male Feminist: Challenging Male Privilege

"Since men are the primary agents maintaining and supporting sexism and sexist oppression, they can only be successfully eradicated if men are compelled to assume responsibility for transforming their consciousness and the consciousness of society as a whole." - bell hooks, 2004

Earlier this year, I wrote a piece where I stated that I was "slowly becoming a black male feminist." I mentioned that I was learning more about male privilege and oppression of women. Well, I can say for sure that I am a black male feminist. I always mention that I am "becoming" a feminist because I like to view as a process. It is a journey that I am taking to become a male feminist that actively challenges male privilege and seeks avenues to combat the oppression of women. I also say that I am becoming a feminist due to the fact that I do not want to state I know everything about it and ways to challenge male privilege and oppression. Becoming suggests that I am ever willing to read, to write, and to learn about feminism. I read bell hooks, Melissa Harris Perry, Patricia Hill Collins, and others for guidance and direction. I thought to write this blog to put "pen to paper," if you will, and confirm my beliefs and the things that I have learned thus far. I also see that writing this blog is an act of liberation and freedom to say, "yes I am a man, I am a male, and I am a black male feminist." I will attempt to write my thoughts will clarity. At best, these are half-baked thoughts because (as I stated) I am very new to this field. I will attempt to address issues related to privilege, men's adherence to hegemonic masculinity, and men's contradictory experiences of power. I will then outline strategies for becoming social justice allies within feminism and activism for women's rights.

It was in a class called "The Contemporary College Student," in the Fall of 2012. I was a second year graduate student in the Higher Education Administration program at Morgan State University. One of the books that we were required to read was called "Developing Social Justice Allies," by Reason, Broido, Davis, and Evans (2005). In chapter 3 of the book it discussed issues to increasing men's development of social justice attitudes and actions. I immediately gravitated to this chapter because it began to open my thinking and way of understanding to something I did not even know I had. It opened my understanding to male privilege and the oppression of women. The chapter began with a quote from bell hooks that stated, "After hundreds of years of anti-racist struggle, more than even before non-white people are currently calling attention to the primary role white people must play in anti-racist struggle. The same is true of the struggle to eradicate sexism - men have a primary role to play. (2004)"

Through this quote I began to understand that I have a privilege that I was not totally aware of. The issue with privilege is that people in the majority group may or may not recognize that they have a privilege. Privilege exists whether or not it is felt or recognized. It was through this class that I began to understand my privilege. The difficulty that I had with this concept is that I did not feel that I had earned the privilege. As a member of a minority group, I was not used to the idea that I had a privilege. It became apparent when my professor asked the class, "If you ever had to protect yourself from rape or sexual assault, step back" It was an ice breaker at the beginning of class in which those who stepped forward were privileged and those who stepped back were oppressed. After a list of questions, I realized that I had stepped forward when the other women in the class stepped backwards. It was critical moment in my development as an ally.

The next semester, I had the opportunity to hear Melissa Harris Perry speak at a conference I attended in Las Vegas, NV. She held a talk on her book, "Sister Citizen: Shame, Stereotypes, and Black Women in America." She discussed the impact that politics have had on Black Women in America. From the stereotypes of hypersexuality in the Jezebel, the subservient role of Mammy, and the emasculating anger of Sapphire, she dealt with the politics of recognition within the American society. African American women struggle with a crooked room in which they are forced to conform in order to be recognized. She mentioned the difficulty within the intersection of race, class, and gender stating that it is hard to be a Black Women in America. The Black Women in America already has two strikes against her, (1) she is black and (2) she is a woman. She states in her book, "As members of a stigmatized group, African American women lack opportunities for accurate, affirming recognition of the self and yet must contend with hypervisibility imposed by they lower social status." Using the concept of recognition, she discusses how "individuals from disempowered social groups desire recognition for their group but also want recognition of their distinctiveness from the group." How the collective Black Women in America are misrecognized in the public sphere impacts how the individual Black Woman is effected socially, economically, and politically.

The process of understanding who is harmed and who benefits provides the building blocks to understand privileges, disadvantages, and institutional oppression. As human beings, we struggle with the need to have our social and cultural experience validated and understood. There is an innate need to be recognized. However, gender based violence and violence against women are clear signs that women across the globe are being silenced by oppressive males. As I am becoming a male feminist, I understand that gender based violence, domestic violence, and adherence to hegemonic masculinity hurt both the man and the woman. Sexism hurts both parties. This is a critical moment for me as I am currently living in Namibia. I daily see the impacts of a patriarchal society and it's impact on women in Africa. My experiences in Namibia are opening my eyes to male privilege, hegemonic masculinity, and men's contradictory experience of power. "Becoming an alley to women means engaging men in reflecting about the ways the feminine is denigrated in both women and men. (Reason, 2005). Men are socialized to have control, power, and be competitive. The contradiction occurs when the individual male does not feel that he has control or power. On one end of the spectrum, men are privileged as a group, but as individuals, men fall short of hegemonic masculinity. It is suggested that there is an opportunities to promote social justice in men through men's privilege and pain. "The pain associated with such denial and the corresponding privilege conferred to men by patriarchy provide crucial clues for promoting the growth and development of attitudes consistent with social justice. (Reason, 2005).

So in order to become an activist for women's rights there are several ways to challenge male privilege and oppression of women. Firstly, "in the moment" actions can be used to confront statements that are sexist that are often overlooked. Secondly, in meetings where a man's point of view is heard more than a woman's, "noticing when this happens and naming it provides unique opportunity for deconstructing a system that otherwise continues unquestioned and becomes normalized. (Reason, 2005)" Finally, there are some fundamental professional discussion guidelines for facilitating a men's discussion (see Pollack, 2001). These are:

  1. Create a safe space
  2. Give men time to feel comfortable with expression
  3. Seek out and provide alternative pathways for expression 
  4. Listen without judging 
  5. Avoid shaming 
  6. Give affirmation
The obstacles to becoming a black male feminist related to privilege, adherence to hegemonic masculinity, and men's contradictory experience of power must be understood. I look forward to continue the journey. 


Will add references later... I'm tired!


Eugene Smith, M.A.


Thursday, November 21, 2013

Twice as Good to Get Half as Much

Today was a very interesting day. I was actually contemplating on if I would post this or not. I wrote this in my journal first because I opted not to blog it. But then as I continue to write I realized that this does need to be blogged and seen by others who wear the mask. I am a very personal and private person. I know I put my entire life on social media, whether it is where I am or the things I am doing. However, I am very personal and private when it comes to my true self. Also, I am a guy so I don't share my feelings a lot. But I was compelled to blog this journal entry because it resonated deeply within my soul. I know that it will reach others and possibly explain why I am the way I am. 

I had a conversation with one of my colleagues and she asked me, "How often do you adjust with any condition? "Will  you be able to hang around poor people without feeling sorry for them and adjust without making them feel that they are poor?" Immediately, I was taken aback by her statement. She didn't realize how deep her question was to me. It threw me into a tail spin of questions where I critically analyzed myself, my actions, and my life. I began to think, "Was it something I said? Did I do something? What makes you think I am rich?" She added to question with "are you the type of American who likes expensive food, drinks, and clothes?" 


So there I was thinking and reflecting on all of my life's experiences and thought I'm not privileged and I don't come from an affluent background. Yet, something had to have sparked in her to ask those questions. What was it? Of course, I come from America. That impression of privilege and affluence is given for a developing country. The American Dream is alive in the eyes of those in developing countries. What else? I was blessed to obtain an education at the university level and  then I joined the Peace Corps. But that doesn't say to me that I am privileged. I joined to give back. I desire to be "one with the people" and join in solidarity with Africa and her struggles, in particular, Namibia. 


As I stated, I do not come from what I think is a privileged background. On the contrary, I grew up with the mantra which states: "You have to be twice as good to get half as much." The comment from my colleague made me think of this statement I heard growing up. The phrase is deeply rooted in the backwaters of the Mississippi to the Red Hills of Georgia. It is a vestige of Jim Crow segregation where African Americans believed that in order to sit at the front of the bus one would have to be twice as good. This motto is something that almost every African American of my generation and before has heard when they got in trouble, brought home a bad grade, didn't pass an exam, or didn't practice enough to win the "big" game in basketball or football. The stern look of every African American parent to their child: "You know if you want to make it in America, you have to be twice as good to get half as much." This charged motto may not be true for everyone but it was for me. I always thought that I was wasn't smart enough, fast enough, strong enough or tough enough to "make it." I didn't go to the best schools or get the best test scores. But what I did have was a strong military family who believed in my success and gave me the desire and willpower to go to college. 


It was through education that I realized I had a way out. It was a way for me to make it. In college I always joked that education was my side hustle. If I wasn't smart enough, I would hustle my way to be the best. I had to work harder, work smarter, arrive early, and leave late. I pushed myself. I networked with everyone and got the connections I wanted. I built relationships with key stakeholders. The crowning achievement of my tenacious work ethic was when I received Morgan State University's President's Second Mile Award which goes to the student who goes the second mile in student affairs. For lack of better words, it goes to the student who overachieves. But after our conversation, I thought to myself, "The twice as good motto is such a facade!" If we continue with the racially charged twice as good motto we will forfeit our ability to reach and touch the lives of the poor, the destitute, and the lame. Although I've held to the "twice as good" motto and it is sketched in my upbringing, I need to let it GO! It will limit the people that I will be able to reach here in Africa. 


I am reminded of what Jesus said in Luke 4:18-19, "The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." In this passage, Jesus has come for the poor. He sits with the sinners, the harlots, and the tax collectors. Not with the saints or the rich but he sat with the poor, the meek, and the humble.


This conversation also reminded me of the Paul Lawrence Dunbar's "We Wear the Mask." 



  WE wear the mask that grins and lies, 
    It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—      This debt we pay to human guile;      With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,      And mouth with myriad subtleties.
    In counting all our tears and sighs? 
    Nay, let them only see us, while 
            We wear the mask.
    To thee from tortured souls arise. 
    We sing, but oh the clay is vile 
    Beneath our feet, and long the mile; 
    But let the world dream otherwise, 
            We wear the mask!


    Why should the world be over-wise, 

    We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries 

Dunbar expresses the plight of the African American and the need to wear a mask. The mantra "twice as good to get half as much," is in fact a mask that Black Americans wear. Dunbar suggests that we wear the mask instead of crumbling to life's atrocities. We wear the mask to be strong when we want to be weak. The mask hides the baggy eyes of tiredness with 'grins and lies.' The "we" speaks of the collective consciousness of the black race. So does "twice as good," speak for the generational mindset of a people. The best option for someone wearing the mask is to be perceived on the superficial level. What you see is just a facade and not my real self. Likewise, "twice as good" is a mask to cover up what someone perceives they lack. I've noticed within myself that I, too, wear the mask to hide behind it and strive to be twice as good. But now my true self screams out, at what cost!? 

So now I will continue my journey to critically analyze myself and dismantle systems of institutional oppression. Yes, I know I have to be the best in any circumstance or environment. Yes, I will push myself to be smarter, faster, and stronger. But at what costs? The cost of limiting my effectiveness to reach the poor, the destitute, and the lame? The cost of wearing a mask to hide my true self, to hide who I really am, to keep up the appearance. As an avid church goer, I can sum up this blog by saying that it is no longer acceptable to have, maintain, or hold the "church-face." The "church face" is the phrase used in predominantly African American churches in which the lay member has the attitude of "I have it all together, everything is under control, everything is kosher, I'm enjoying Jesus, hallelu." Well, I don't have it all together, everything is not under control, everything is not kosher, but yet I am still enjoying Jesus, hallelu! 

Eugene Smith, M.A. 

This blog does not reflect the Peace Corps or the United States of America. 

Saturday, November 9, 2013

NATANGWE - He Is To Be Praised



I shared this with my mentor and friend:

You were right. I have found a place where I am finally coming into my own. It is a time where I am coming into myself. A time where I am fully the person whom I am meant to be. It is as if God is saying to me, "Here, this is it." The long awaited promise land that He promised so long ago. And as I come into my own I realized a few things. First, I no longer have to be what other people ask or want me to be. Second, I can be who God has called me to can be. And finally, I am walking into my destiny through this experience in Africa.

To be an African American returning to Africa has been a trying, overwhelming, but yet an amazing experience. Last week my friend and colleague gave me the name Natangwe from the Oshiwambo traditional tribal name. I have an African name now. The name means "God is to be praised." This is in all actuality what I am purposed for and to do. My purpose is to praise Him, my longing is to serve Him, my hearts desire is to make His Name GREAT among the Nations!

God has really brought me to a place where all my needs are met! And I'm literally living out Psalm 91 - I'm in His Shadow! If I'm in His shadow then I must be walking in His will because you never have a shadow unless you have a figure blocking a source of light causing the shadow to form. Sometimes God is blocking things from hitting us when we stay in His will. I don't know what it is but it's a mighty good feeling to be in His will.

"By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going. By faith he went to live in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, living in tents with Isaac and Jacob, heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God." (Hebrews 11:8-10 ESV)

- Eugene Smith, M.A.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Their Eyes Were Watching God

I just finished the classic novel, "Their Eyes Were Watching God," by novelist Zora Neale Hurston. "Ships at a distance have every man's wish on board," so begins the story of Janie as she is on a journey to find her authentic self and true love. Janie, the protagonist of the story, finds herself caught in a hurricane that is literal and figurative. It is through this hurricane that she finds herself. The force of a hurricane can throw any unfortunate person or object at will. Being caught in a hurricane and faced with the impending danger puts yourself at the mercy of the storm and the God of the storm. Figuratively Janie deals with the hurricane of life as she is forced to face the opinions of others as to what and who she is. Oftentimes Janie would “starched and ironed her face, forming it into just what people wanted to see...” Throughout the novel, Janie struggled to find herself, to emerge from what people wanted to see to what she wanted to be. In this story, Janie struggles to be recognized. The story of Janie helps us to understand black women's struggle with hierarchical systems of oppression. Janie is forced to deal with the hurricane of limited gender and race roles. This narrative is a depiction of one who questions issues of power, prejudice, and human fulfillment while achieving self-knowledge. Melissa Harris-Perry notes that Hurricane Katrina is a contemporary version of Hurston's novel (Sister Citizen). If we remember the hurricane and it's aftermath, you will note that there were issues of  race and hierarchical structures, powerful white institutions ignoring black suffering, and black men driven mad as they try to rescue others in the storm. All these are elements that are in Hurston's novel and the consequences of a natural disaster in modernity. 

Within my own studies, I began to analyze the book in the field of higher education. I relate Janie to the average college-age student, I would examine Tea Cake as the administrators of the college setting, and I would identify Motor Boat as those students that fall between the cracks of university life. Yes, I know that this a bit far-fetched but bare with me. As I study institutions of higher education and the field of education in general, I notice a significant trend among the students and how the institution interacts with the student. I see higher education as the hurricane in Hurston's novel, both literally and figuratively. The hurricane of higher education forces a student to the mercy of its power and throws them through four years or more of training to become what society deems as functioning citizens of the middle/working class. I would also suggest that higher education is the hurricane because students must navigate through four years of social, intellectual, and academic development to find their authentic self. The search for finding a student's authentic self has been recorded and theorized by a plethora of researchers. Theories such as Women's Ways of Knowing, Self-Authorship, and Chickering's Seven Vectors all have in common the notion of students finding their authentic self during their matriculation. It is the idea of mattering that I find to be of most importance. It is the ideas of being valued as a student and recognized by the system of higher education. Through this recognition of the student, one must find their authentic self while dismantling systems of oppression. After a conversation I had with my significant other, we noted that faculty and staff should be equally concerned about if the student understands the content and what happens to the student outside of the classroom setting. If one can understand the circumstances outside the class then he/she is in a better position to understand the student. Then a faculty or staff member will be able to gauge the level and type of challenge that should be given. At the same time, one would be able to know the necessary support to give to each student. The undesired behaviors of students (the outbursts), whether it is K-12 or Higher Ed, says to me that the student is crying out, "I don't feel that I am important, I don't matter, so why should I make this (the subject) important." 

Faculty and Student Affairs Professional should ensure that each and every student MATTERS! 

If you are wondering about my Peace Corps experience, I am fine. :) 

Monday, September 23, 2013

SERVE THE PEOPLE!

"Education is the great engine of personal development." - Nelson Mandela 

As I arrive to my community I am reminded of what U.S. Ambassador to Namibia, Wanda Nesbitt said to the newly initiated Peace Corps volunteers of Group 38. She stated that we should 1) be open minded, 2) be ready to listen, and 3) be ready to observe. These three things are essential to any volunteer as he/she begins to serve in the Peace Corps. I would like to add to these criterion by stating that one must be flexible, be willing to adapt, be determined, and acquire a certain level of resiliency. Most importantly, one must know that they are in their community to HELP. But one must be aware to avoid helping that hurts. This is a phrase that has so much packed in it. I recall seeing a book that was given to me called When Helping Hurts... (Note: I have not read it yet)

Now I have an innate intrinsic desire to help and serve others. But what I understand is that my desire to help should not hurt those who I seek to help. There could be various reasons and ways someone can unintentionally hurt someone by helping them. Without going through a list of those possibilities, I will sum it by stating that one should be cognizant of the culture, morals, values, and lifestyle of the people served. 

When entering a community you are the outsider and you have an outsiders perspective. That perspective is that it is obvious that the community you serve needs your help. However, one should not enter the community being judgmental of the culture. When you speak of perspective, you are speaking of perception. Your perception of the community is based on what you think should be the right way of doing things and then implementing the perceived needed change. I would pause here and ask - what makes your perception the right one? What makes the way you did things better than the way it was done before? What makes it the correct way of doing things? What if your perception of right looks wrong to the community you serve? Would you force your perception of right and wrong on the people you are serving? I would beg to differ! One should not force their ideals, values, and morals on someone because you don't think that way is right. 

On the contrary, you should listen first, observe second, be open minded and then work together in partnership with community leaders to develop a plan to better the community. This process should be inclusive and participatory. (PACA!) At the same time, the participants should set their own agenda and needs assessment so that they have a sense of ownership towards the development project. There should be a "buy-in" of the product that the community sees as the need, rather than what you see as the need. There is always talk by academics and people of the higher class as to what "we" should do for our community. But those same individuals are not present in developing the community. One should not be in the ivory tower of academia and suggest where "we" need to do.

Let us get out of the ivory tower of academia and work with the people we wish to serve. Dr. Cornel West poignantly stated that, "You can't lead the people if you don't love the people. You can't save the people if you don't serve the people." I concur with this sentiment. I would add that if you would like to save the people, you must work with the people - helping people develop the capacity to improve their own lives. If you are working alone, you are not doing development work. If you are evaluating alone, you are not building capacity and sustainable work. 

"Being confident of this that He who has begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ." Phil. 1:6 

- E.H. Smith, M. A. 

Saturday, August 31, 2013

TSINTSABIS, OSHIKOTO, NAMIBIA

Tsintsabis!

Wednesday, I found out my site. I am going to Tsintsabis in the Oshikoto region. Tsintsabis is 60 KM from Tsumeb (see map below). IT'S IN THE NORTH! I'm still shocked at this because I am learning a language called Afrikaans thats not common in the North. In fact, the village that I am going to speaks Khoekhoegowaba (KKG) which is one of the click languages. More surprising is that I will be working with the Bushmen/San people of Namibia. The San people is one of the original people's of the world. No one knows where they come from. Their ancestors stretch back to 30,000 years ago. This is evident in the clay paintings in caves found in parts of Namibia. 



So I will be living on the school grounds. I'm pretty much happy about my placement. That's because one of my duties will be to serve as a type of administrator. At least, that's what the job description says. The principal wants me to work on AIDS/HIV awareness campaigns, in the school library, computer training for teachers and learners, and (again) administrative work. This is so perfect for me as a student affairs professional. I have a background in college level administration. Now I have to adapt my skills and learn new skills for K-12 administration. If you know me or follow my work... I AM BEYOND ECSTATIC! You are supposed to go where Peace Corps tells you to go... It may not be exactly what I expected/wanted... But I can tell already that I know that this is where I am SUPPOSED to be! Ready to jump in with an open mind! 



"I came to theory because I was hurting — the pain within me was so intense that I could not go on living. I came to theory desperate, wanting to comprehend — to grasp what was happening around and within me. Most important, I wanted to make the hurt go away. I saw in theory then a location for healing." - bell hooks 


This blog does not represent the Peace Corps or the United States of America.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

SPEAKING TRUTH TO POWER! Namibia, The Land of the Brave!

You have to see the people how they are living, to really understand the evil of apartheid, how evil it is for human beings to be cruel to other human beings... That is why we are working so hard for delivering services to the people... Nelson Mandela
 
"Emancipate yourself from mental slavery. None but ourselves can free our minds" (Bob Marley, Redemption Song). 
 
Two weeks ago I arrived in the beautiful contrasting land of Namibia, the Land of the Brave! I have had so many revelations since coming here. I hope I may share them with you all. I have decided not to write in my blog every week or twice a week. I will continue with only posting blogs once a month. This is due to a revelation I had about how much I blog and "being present." What I mean by this is that I have consciously decided to disconnect from the world. I have decided to disconnect from America and Western thinking and ways of knowing. I am doing this because it is important for me to fully integrate and immerse myself into the culture, the language, and the life here in Namibia. 
 
Although my Facebook may suggest I will be active on the Internet, the posting of pictures is meant to show family and friends back home what I am doing and the wonderful things I've seen. Also, on Saturday, (8.3.13) I purchased a cellphone that is extremely basic. It has the capability to text and call only Namibian numbers. I can receive international incoming calls. There is no Internet on it. I have yet to buy a device that allows me to have a mobile hot spot called a Netman. Again, this is to disconnect. Unfortunately, I have seen myself so caught up in the need for Internet and social networking that I am forgetting why I am here. I am here to help the people of Namibia. In order to do this I must be physically and mentally here! I cannot be physically here but mentally in the States. It's sort of like a relationship... You can't be physically with your counterpart but mentally somewhere else (on your phone!). I have had the misfortune of being caught by my significant other for being there but being on my phone  plenty of times! So I am trying to ensure that I am physically and mentally here in Namibia.
 
Moreover, the quote above really speaks to where I am mentally and how I view my role in Namibia for the next few months. I have to see how the people are living and live like the people in order to understand the people. I have to fully understand the evils of apartheid if I am to fully understand the people that I work with. Namibia is a relatively young country. It is only 23 years old! Strikingly, Namibia is still feeling the effects of apartheid. Stores and restaurants have a sign that says "right of admission reserved." This reminds me of the sign of "whites only." I understand that this means that certain people are not welcomed in certain establishments. If you were to study the history of Namibia, you would find a long history of a people fighting for independence.
 
Between 1884-1885, European Imperialist Powers decided which countries would occupy parts of Africa. Namibia was given to Germany and began the first stages of imperialism. Germany soon realized that Namibia was suitable for white settlement and colonialism. Shortly there after, conflicts between Germans and indigenous tribes began. The battle of Otjunda in the Gobabis area is where Germans suffered loses by Eastern Hereros. Reinforcements were brought in from Germany and they captured two leaders of the Mbabderus. They were executed in Okahandja. Hatred against the Germans arose among the tribal people.
 
The Germans continued to take the land and cattle of the tribes. The tribes felts that they were being robbed of their homeland. In 1904, the Hereros and Damas took up arms. Then the Namas and then the Owambo tribes joined and the country was in a full scale war. The Germans won and subjected the people to colonial oppression and were used as a type of slave labor for the German settlers. If you would look up the Genocide of the Hereros you will find that the 2nd Reich killed 65,000 Hereros between 1904-1909 (60% of the Herero population). It was a small scale version of the soon impending Holocaust of the Jews. To continue to paint this picture, deceased bodies of Hereros were sent to Germany for testing to prove the superiority of the German White Arian race. This racial science is seen throughout history and the notions of white supremacy began. It could be said that this all started here. At this point, I feel so connected to the people of Namibia and their struggle for independence. Can you imagine being enslaved in your own homeland? But many of us are still struggling with mental slavery! 
 
In 1919, South Africa took control over what was then called "Germany's South West Africa." After World War I, the League of Nations was established and took away all of Germany's colonies. Unfortunately, it was South Africa that introduced Apartheid Laws in Namibia and wanted to make it a part of South Africa. The Namibia people refused to be annexed by South Africa. Another conflict began to emerge! After WWII, the Namibians started to form modern political movements and petitioned the U.N. about South Africa's treatment of the Namibian people. The U.N. recognized the SWAPO as the sole representative of the Namibian people. Tremendous support was afforded to the SWAPO party in their efforts to liberate Namibia from the yoke of Apartheid colonialism. SWAPO launched the armed liberation struggle against South Africa in 1966. This was a brutal war! The Armed struggle for liberation lasted until 1988 when South Africa agreed for the implementation of the United Nations Security Council Resolution 435, which brought independence to Namibia on the 21st of March 1990. 
 
I named this article, speaking TRUTH to power because that is what the Namibia people have been doing for over 100 years. I am in solidarity with the people of Namibia because in my own ways I struggle to speak TRUTH to powers that systematically oppress and marginalize minority groups... ALL GROUPS! I am slowly becoming what is called a "black male feminist." In a self made definition of this concept, I am actively learning and challenging male privilege and ways that oppress women, in particular black women. I often read essays from bell hooks, Patricia Hill-Collins, Melissa Harris-Perry, and Angela Davis about dismantling oppressive institutional structures that systematically oppress black women. I have found that it is important for me - black men - to actively engage in the fight against male privilege, womanism, and sexism. As I come to know more about this topic and struggle with being aware of my privilege and how it affects black women, I actively challenge it. I am conscious not to marginalize men but I realize that womanism and sexism hurts both the male and female. bells hooks stated, "after hundreds of years of anti-racist struggle, more than ever before non-white people are currently calling attention the primary role white people must play in the anti-racist struggle. The same is true of the struggle to eradicate sexism - men have a primary role to play" (2004). 
 
In this context, I am in a country where males dominate and male privilege is apparent. It is my role as an educator to liberate the oppressed and the oppressor through the power of education. Namibia has a diverse population of tribal heritage. Also, females out number males 6 to 1. Namibia still feels the effects of Apartheid rule and women are the most poor, unemployed, and dispossessed. As I continue my training, I am becoming aware of all of these factors that make up this wonderful country. As I am aware of these things, I begin to think about my role and what I wish to accomplish and achieve in the next two years. It is my hope that you will help me in this journey of self discovery as I struggle to combat the issues that face today's Namibia.
 
I will leave you with an excerpt from bell hooks' Writing Beyond Race. It states, "despite the legacy of struggle, of commitment to freedom and justice, we are witnessing at this time a consolidated attempt on the part of combined forces of domination - what many of us consistently and courageously call imperialist white supremacist capitalist patriarchy - to kill this spirit of RESISTANCE, and in the process create a culture without hope, a culture wherein the belief that materialism is all that matters and the beliefs that the politics of greed is the only real foundation needed to give life meaning will reign supreme."
 
- E.H. Smith, M. A. 
"The unexamined life is not worth living."

This blog does not represent the Peace Corps or the United States of America.

Sunday, July 21, 2013

AM I AMERICAN OR AM I NEGRO? CAN I BE BOTH?

"Trust in The Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding." - Proverbs 3:5 ESV

So this is it! I must admit that this moment is bittersweet. On one end of the spectrum, I am leaving my family, friends and loved ones behind. On the other end, I am getting ready to embark on a new journey! I am writing this blog as another installment in the birth of my journey into the Peace Corps. This blog will be straight and to the point because I do not have a lot to say but what I do have to say is sure to be impactful to the reader.

Today I will begin my journey to Namibia. Although, you might say that I really began my journey on August 18th when I submitted my application. That was 11 months and 3 days ago! It has taken me that long to go through all of the hurdles of a very competitive program. The endless essays using the words - help, impact, support, encourage - without fully knowing the meaning of those words and the context in which I was to use them. That was 11 months and 3 days of watching countless hours of Peace Corps related material on YouTube. That was 11 months and 3 days of explaining to family and friends WHY IN THE WORLD I would go into the Peace Corps, how it connects to my greater career goals, the cultural exposure and educational benefits. Not to mention the dreaded question where I would literally begin convincing people that going into the Peace Corps is not just for White Americans. I would laugh when I heard, "that's what rich white kids do," or "I just don't see how the Peace Corps impacts the black community." The most famous line I heard when explaining my reasoning for going into the Peace Corps was related to the fact that what I will be doing in Namibia I can do at any inner city public school system, in particular, South Baltimore. The comments are valid and came from the heart of that persons perspective. However, I would challenge us to begin to dig deeper and think differently about the way we view these types of opportunities. For instance, African Americans disportionately join the Peace Corps. Even more striking is the amount of black males who join the Peace Corps. This has been a historic trend since the inception of such an organization. The organization has failed to attract African Americans. In 1961-1971, the Peace Corps had several campaigns to encourage black Americans to join its ranks. One campaign was called "Integration: Token or Reality," in which it sought to educate trainees on civil rights issues of the day and how the Peace Corps is actively combating these inequalities. During the 60s, the nation was divided with the civil rights movements that had leaders such as Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, Jr., and James Baldwin. Malcolm X was critical of the Peace Corps and created a negative connotation about the organization. He called the organization and its volunteers, "spies subjugating Africa in the guise of assisting it." Malcolm X further stated about black volunteers that they were "race traitors and (traitors) of the rightful cause." Hence, since the inception of the Peace Corps black Americans have pause and question the organization and question the role of black volunteers participation. I would reason this same mentality is carried today.

To make these statements more relevant, I can tell you exactly how I feel in this space. Rather than continue to question my own reasoning for joining the Peace Corps, I began to do my own research. As I struggled with these feelings and having to deal with the awkward space that I have placed myself in, I had an "ah-ha" moment. An "ah-ha" moment came when I read an article titled "Beyond Double Consciousness: Black Peace Corps Volunteers in Africa, 1961-1971." This article was of particular interest to me as it allowed me to deal with this space of race and the connondrum that I found myself in.

Of course, the article leans on the Du Bois concept of double consciousness from his historic book, "The Souls of Black Folk." The concept of double consciousness is brought to the foreground of his dialogue when Du Bois asks, "AM I AMERICAN OR AM I NEGRO? CAN I BE BOTH?" Du Bois responded with a hardy yes! This was to affirm that the African American was in fact dealing with two conscious spaces. The first space is the NEGRO space. The second is the AMERICAN space. At the heart of the discussion is the struggle to deal with being a Black man and having to be an American. These are the same feelings that I have right now. Going to the Peace Corps is like leaving my community because there is so much work that needs to be done here. But on the other hand, I want to serve my country.

Yet, the struggles of a Black man in America are different than any other individual in America, albeit, the planet. The black man has to deal with "walking while black," as we have seen from the recent Trayvon Martin verdict of not guilty. The question is how can I be safe as a Black man in America? What the case really says to me is that the black man's life is not valued in America. Juror B-37 said flat out that there was no connection to Martin. They felt as if they did not know him. Although these points may seem off key from the greater conversation, the context of the situation does fit! The present feeling among Black America is that we are hurt for many reasons. But we have realized that a system that was not meant for us cannot protect us!

As a Black Man in America going into the Peace Corps how do I respond to such blatant attacks on the black man? This awkward space I find myself in is weird! On one hand, I am proud to serve my country as an American and stand up with fellow volunteers to spread peace and friendship with other countries on behalf of the United States. On the other hand, I am concerned that I live in an America that does not value black life... AT ALL. And I am referring to black on black crime as well (Chicago, Memphis, and other urban cities). On yet another hand, I am coming into the realization that I am just a human being in the human experience. Dr. King once stated that "we are all inescapably tied to each others destiny." (Paraphrase) What one does impacts and effects the other. I am moving into what the Beyond Double Consciousness article describes as "universal oneness," where I have racial pride but I am cognizant of the belief that humanity is one. Sargent Shriver stated it poignantly in a speech at the inception of the Peace Corps. I will leave you with this thought - "When will the ugly incidents of Montgomery and Birgmingham cease to be? Only when every man becomes a person to every other man." When will the Trayvon Martin's cease to be? Only when every black man becomes a person to every OTHER man!

We are in a Zenith and Nadir moment in America... We are approaching a 3rd Reconstruction era of America.

- Eugene H. Smith, M. A.
Twitter: @eugene_smith88

This blog does not represent the Peace Corps or the United States of America.

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Here am I, Send Me

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
 - Joshua 1:9 NIV 

Hello again, 

I hope all is well and life is good. 

I wanted to add to my monthly blog in regards to my journey of joining the Peace Corps. I wanted to share with you where I am now, what I have been experiencing, and how I have been preparing for the Peace Corps. As of today, I have 23 days left. I am getting excited and nervous about my experience. Although I am not there yet, I have been reading a plethora of books, blogs, journals, and documents. I already feel that I am changing. What I mean by this is that I am open to the new culture, language, and opportunities that will be presented to me. I am eager to jump in and learn of the people and share my experiences so that they can learn of me. I am getting in the mindset of a volunteer. I am preparing my heart, mind and spirit to go on a journey that is sure to change my world perspective and viewpoint. It is my hope that my blogs, videos, facebook and twitter posts, and, letters will serve to demonstrate the tremendous growth that I will experience.

In addition, I plan to use this experience for professional development and growth. Using the blogs will serve as my blackboard (if you will). It is my hope that you will serve as fellow colleagues that are critiquing my work and using constructive criticism to further my development. Please examine my strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats to my growth as an educator and student affairs professional. It is my goal to use this opportunity to work on my writing skills, to expand my vocabulary, to dig deeper in my critical thinking skills, and to think differently about the way I see the world through writing. I will have these blogs to look back on in the event that one day I will share my experience in a classroom or in a book. So I am laying out my course objectives, expectations, and syllabus for this amazing class. My office hours are Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday from 1pm - 3pm. The require text is an open mind. Discussion board posts are worth 10 points. Grades will be posted at the end of the semester. NO LATE WORK WILL BE ACCEPTED! LOL.

Moreover, I plan to use this journey to grow spiritually and intellectually. Some would think to separate the two spheres of the person, however, I do not. On one hand, the spiritual side of a person is ones connection to a higher being or realm (if one chooses to believe in such). On the other, the intellectual being is used to critically examine the arts, literature, culture, music, education, and other avenues of mental activity. I combine these two because I believe that the two are essential to the framework that makes up a person. The spirit connects to the Creator for guidance and direction. The intellect connects to the spirit to understand the directions of the Creator and develop strategies to engage in activities that foster safe spaces to critically analyze the world. Using both spiritual and intellectual guidance, I plan to engage the world anew. In fact, bell hooks stated that, "many spiritual teachers - in Buddhism, in Islam - have talked about first-hand experience of the world as an important part of the path to wisdom, to enlightenment" (See Agent of Change, 1992). This is how I see my own spiritual and intellectual development.

As a result, I am starting my journey of this first-hand experience of the world to gain new wisdom and enlightenment. I think it is necessary to inform you, the reader, that I am a Christian. I believe that Jesus is my Lord and Savior. But my development as a follower of Christ has been one that is always critical of myself, my religion, and other Christians. By no means in a negative way, but in a way that will make it better. As an educator, I am always critical of everything. I do not and will not take things as face value. I critically examine the world in which I live. For without examination we are all drones following commands without conscious thought or processes. In Plato's Apology, Socrates stated that, "the unexamined life is not worth living." You cannot and should not live this life without examining all of its factors. On the same coin, Malcolm X stated that, "the examined life is painful." If one were to examine life and all of its painful truths, one would have to face it or be ignorant of the wealth that wisdom has to offer. Therefore, I examine Christianity with a critical eye to understand my God and His ways a little better. I examine questions like, what does it mean to be a Christian? What does it mean to be an intellectual or academic? Can the two even coexist? At the same time, I examine it in hopes to become a better educator. I believe that education is key to a successful life. "Education is the passport to the future," as Malcolm X stated. Therefore, I do my best to fulfill the Great Commission by educating "the least of these." (Matt. 25:31-46). It is my hope that souls are saved and given the tools through education to live a better life. I believe that if you give a man a fish, you will feed him for a day. But if you teach him HOW to fish you will feed him for a lifetime. 

On a more personal level of my faith in Christ, I believe God is taking me on this journey to prepare me for ministry. I will only share briefly on this topic but I believe God is moving me closer to my destiny and calling in Christ, to "do the work of an evangelist." (2 Tim. 4:5). To say the least, I am a scholar, a black intellectual, a Christian, a budding college president, and a politician at times! But without Christ in my life, there is no other way! I owe God so much. So from this moment on, I dedicate myself to live my life for the Lord, to serve Him, to give Him glory through my educational pursuits, and to acknowledge Him in all my ways. This past month (June 2013) has been a trying one. I have been tested and tried. But I believe God is able to do exceeding and abundantly above all that I ask or think according to the power that works in me. Most importantly, this trying month is the testing of the genuineness of my faith, to show my heart, and to prepare me to serve in the Peace Corps. If I were to tell you my testimony, you would not believe what I have gone through. But God has made ways and open doors. He is amazing! Therefore, I pledged to Him to serve Him for the rest of my life! Now, I must say this to cover myself. I understand that the Peace Corps is a non-religious organization that represents the United States of America. This blog does not represent the views of the Peace Corps or of the United States of America. This is a personal blog to share my thoughts and growth. It is my hope that you will join me in this journey to the glory of God. Here am I Lord, send me! 

In service to Him, 

Eugene Smith, M. A. 


Monday, June 24, 2013

The importance of education in the 21st century church

Note: I wrote this blog as a guest blogger. The original blog will be posted in pentecostalperspective.blogspot.com.

As a student affairs professional, I believe it is necessary that Christian church find that education is important. A student affairs professional is an administrator in a college setting that works with students develop their social, academic, and professional skills. I meet all types of students who are on their own path to attaining educational pursuits. For Christians, it is necessary for us to be equipped with as much education as possible to live in this world and compete in the job market. A lot of times I see that Christians are not keen on the importance of education. I do not know everyone’s reasoning behind why pursuing education (or the lack thereof) is important to them. I also do not want to give any assumptions. However, from what I see, the issue is not just the church but generational issues with attaining education. The reasons may be due to financial burdens, family issues, or the desirability to gain wealth out of high school. Yet, it is my belief that the Christian church should push the importance of education early on the young people in their congregation.

It is my hope that through this blog, I will be able to identify areas that the 21st Century church can improve upon. This is an opportune time to have real dialogue about education from the “pulpit to the door!” It is my hope that over time with intentional collaborative efforts, shared leadership, shared values, and a better understanding of education and student development these anxieties about education will begin to wane. Literature suggests that education is not only a good idea but absolutely necessary in this day and age. A college education provides more than just book smarts. There are other areas that need to be improved on in each student’s life. Social skills, professional development, racial development, identity development, and emotional development are other areas that a good education can help with. Several theoretically based questions should be considered: (a) What are the implications of cognitive development, (b) what does the psychosocial development look like, (c) How do we address racial and identity development? And (d) what are the spiritual and moral development opportunities? Questions like these are important when we look at encouraging education for our young people.

To hone this topic in a little more, I took the liberty to look at scripture to provide us with more content around the context of the importance of education in the 21st century church. When we look at the life of Paul who wrote majority of the New Testament there is no doubt that Paul is educated. In fact he stated in Acts 22:3 “I am a Jew, born in Tarsus of Cilicia, but brought up in this city. I studied under Gamaliel and was thoroughly trained in the law of our ancestors. I was just as zealous for God as any of you are today.” Paul points out several times in scripture his accolades in attaining an education in the law. I think that Paul’s education assisted his work in ministry when he came to Christ. Now, there may be other opinion regarding this matter. One would say that they do not need education to achieve the will of God in their life. I believe this to be absolutely true. Sometimes all it takes is the anointing, prayer, and fasting before the Lord to accomplish the will of God in one’s life. However, because of Paul’s education he was able to reach more people because he was educated.

He was rejected by the 1st century Christians because of his previous transgressions of being their persecutor. Yet, Paul plainly stated that his ministry was for the Gentiles, in particular, the Romans. The Lord made Paul a missionary to the Gentiles that he should "be of good cheer, for you must bear witness of Jesus at Rome” (Acts 23:11). I bring up this point because Paul was specifically placed to reach out to the Romans to bring them to Christ. When we look at the Romans of that day, they were educated, cultured, loved music, the arts, and theatre. Paul was specifically assigned to Rome because he was educated. I believe a certain level of education allows you to reach certain people. At the same time, more education will allow you to humble yourself to reach those who may not be as educated. My entire premise and point is that to the educated, we must show ourselves educated that we may by chance save some. We must become all things to all people so that by all possible means we may be able to save some (1 Corinthians 9:22).

Another point about the life of Paul and his level of education that I would like to make is that after he came to Christ everything became dung. That’s how we should be as we pursue higher education and attain our degrees as young people in the church. Paul said, “But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in[a] Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 10 I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead” (Philippians 3:7-11). At the end of the day, no matter how much education we may attain, they do not matter to knowing Jesus Christ and growing in relationship with him.

Finally, here are some of my suggestions for how the church should encourage our young people to attain more education. Conversations should take place that enables young people to think critically about what they are doing in their lives, where possible avenues of collaboration exist, and what prior knowledge and experiences they may have that they can bring to college. Congregations should validate their youth with the ability to know, they should make going to college comfortable by having more college-like experiences before they leave, and they should have conversations so that there is a common understanding about what college is like. A congregation should create a division within their youth departments that specifically focus on educational pursuits. We should do more than just acknowledging report cards and promotions. We should be intentional about pursuing education by having college fair days, taking college tours, and talking about financial aid and other assistance that is available for them.

I hope that this sheds some light on the importance of education in the 21st century church. This was just an attempt to begin the dialogue and think about education differently in the church. It is my hope that through my education God will get the ultimate glory and by chance “save some.” Thank you.

Friday, May 24, 2013

A Life Less Ordinary: A Peace Corps Adventure: Only One Life To Live

A Life Less Ordinary: A Peace Corps Adventure: Only One Life To Live: I've never been one for blogging and honestly never really went around reading blogs until I decided to join the Peace Corps. Reading ot...

Peace Corps Blog #1 - Awaiting Medical Clearance !

5/24/2013 - 2:49 A.M. EST

As I await final medical clearance, I thought it would be a good idea to begin my blogs or vlogs about my Peace Corps experience. I plan to do this monthly as I share my experiences from start to finish. I have been selected to serve in the Peace Corps in Namibia, Africa. I will be serving as an Education Volunteer in the Secondary and Upper Primary Project. I will be serving in Namibia from July 24, 2013 - September 18, 2015.

Briefly, the Secondary and Upper Primary project assists the Ministry of Education in its attempt to address the following issues, problems, and needs:
• Enhance the proficiency level of English as the medium of instruction in the Namibian Education System
• Improve and implement relevant secondary and upper primary education curriculum, exams, and resource materials.
• Address the shortage of teachers in subject areas such as English, Math and Science.
• Enhance knowledge and skills of less qualified upper primary and secondary teachers of English, Math, and Science.
• Enhance the skills of teachers and students in the use of English across the curriculum.
• Enhance the knowledge of teachers and students in environmental education.
• Assist Namibian schools to establish, maintain, or upgrade and use new school libraries, labs and other essential educational resources.
• Improve and expand access to innovative information technology for both learners and teachers.
• Assist the Education Ministry’s efforts with gender issues, especially in terms of high dropout ratio of females at the secondary level.

In order to be a successful volunteer, I need to be aware of the challenges and realities of being a volunteer in the Peace Corps. As an undergraduate student at Morgan State University, I had the privilege of knowing Mr. Ellis Brown. Mr. Ellis Brown is a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer who served in the 1980’s. Although his experience during his time of service may be different from today’s present volunteer, the realities and challenges are still the same.

The challenges of criminal activity in a volunteer’s community are very much real. Before I graduated with my Bachelor’s, I had several opportunities to talk with Mr. Brown about his Peace Corps experience. We discussed extensively that safety should be a high priority during my time of service. As a graduate student at Morgan State University, I began the application process with the understanding that there are real challenges to being a volunteer. I need to be cognizant of my African American identity and how that is expressed, viewed, and perceived.

Next, as a male I should be aware of the privileges that come along with being a male in communities where gender roles are present and dominance still exists. Identity privileges, specifically male privileges, have a tendency to silence female citizens and volunteers. In Namibia, there is a real struggle with gender issues as young females are discouraged from obtaining an education. With a Master of Arts in Higher Education, I would examine ways to combat social justice issues that relate to identity privileges. I may not be able to change the system but I would hope I can educate the community about social justice issues and women’s rights.

When I contemplate about being a Peace Corps volunteer, I can honestly say that there is nothing that I am looking for. I am a blank slate! I am truly and genuinely excited for this opportunity to serve. I am excited to serve because I expect to be exposed to a new culture and a new language. I understand that this exposure will lead to a new way of thinking and the development of multiple perspectives to view life. To understand that there are others that think and act differently from me is one of the keys to sound critical thinking. If more people can become tolerant of the differences of others, the world would be a much better place.

As a result of my background in Higher Education, we are taught to think about the way we view things and begin to think differently about it. We are also taught to consider diversity and multiculturalism and appreciate the complex lived experiences of others. To a greater extent, we are taught to value the cultures of others and through this meaning making process we can have the ability to empathize with students. At this point we can fully understand the students that we wish to serve. In the same context, I plan to have this mentality and an open heart so that I can fully experience a new culture that will change the way I think about student development in the school setting. My Master’s degree in Higher Education Administration has prepared me for this experience and now I can’t wait to put into practice what I have been taught in the classroom.

Stay tuned for Peace Corps Blog #2 as I look forward to chronicle my journey of adventure, self-discovery, and the pursuit of education. Please listen to my theme song: Tomorrow by Salif Keita http://youtu.be/NeTzJJNuRyw

Education Matters,

E. H. Smith, M. A.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

The Incident

The Incident

Brown University is an independent, coeducational Ivy League Institution that is made up of undergraduate and graduates. Located in Providence, Rhode Island and founded in 1764, Brown University is the seventh oldest college in the United States. The institution prides itself in a vibrant and diverse community that consists of 6,000 undergraduates, 2,000 graduate students, 400 medical school students, 5,000 online students, and nearly 700 faculty members. Undergraduate pursuing a bachelor’s degree are encouraged by the university’s commitment to undergraduate freedom which means students must take responsibility as architects of their course of study. Brown is recognized for its global reach, cultural events and numerous campus groups and activities.

Providence is the capital of Rhode Island and has a long history being established as one of the first cities in the United States. Providence is the third largest city in the New England region. The estimated population of Providence, Rhode Island is 178,042. African Americans constitute 16% of the city of Providence. Asians are 6.4% of Providence’s population with different ethnicities such as Cambodians, Chinese, Asian Indians, Loatians, and Koreans. Native Americans and Alaska Native make up 1.4% of the population. Native Hawaiian and Other Pacific Islander’s make up 0.1% of the city. Persons of Hispanic or Latino origin make up 38.1% of the population. White persons not Hispanic make up 37.6% of the city. White persons made up 49.8% percent of the population. The city is noted for its multiculturalism and diversity because of the many communities that reside in Providence and the attractions that the city has. This case study will discuss points of multiculturalism and diversity using Shannon Sullivan’s “Revealing Whiteness: The Unconscious Habits of Racial Privilege.”

In the summer 2010, I served dually as a Mellon Initiative Scholar and an intern in the Leadership Alliance Summer Research Early Identification Program (LA SR-EIP) at Brown University and participated in a rigorous research program with Dr. Jin Li and Dr. Yoko Yamamoto. I conducted a study on Cultural and Economic Differences in Learning and Academic Performance: a Comparative Analysis among European American and Chinese American Children, which examined the cultural and economic differences in learning and academic performance. The results of the study revealed that it is important to examine cultural and socio-economic status of children to suggest school readiness in children. Our results suggested that children from low-income families and are minorities are far less prepared than children from middle class backgrounds. The significance of these findings suggested the importance and need for the research that I conducted at Brown University. It was during the summer of 2010 that I experienced many of the concepts that I have read about in Revealing Whiteness. There were three separate situations that occurred during the summer of 2010 that crystallized my experience at Brown University. Using the terminology found in Sullivan’s book, I will highlight incidents where the collective unconscious habits of white privilege formulated the actions of others that did and did not exist.

When I arrived at Brown University in the summer of 2010, I was excited and ecstatic to have this opportunity to engage in intellectual work that I was sure would lead me to higher heights and deeper depths. I moved into the dormitory in June of that summer, brimming with excitement I hurried my things into the room and settled my belongings. I scurried to the Leadership Alliance summer orientation where I met several students who were just as intellectual as I was. During the introductions, I met my group leader by the name of Nick. During the meeting, Nick made it a point to say that he was an openly gay doctoral student studying epidemiology. Our group was the Social Science cohort of the Brown University summer interns. By far we were not the students working long hours in biology or chemistry labs. We were not the one’s doing hard science. The other student’s that I met at that meeting were Danielle, Brandon, Gabrielle, Max, and Heather. Four of the summer interns in the Social Science cohort were African Americans: Danielle, Brandon, Gabrielle, and I. Heather identified herself as Hispanic/Latina from Chicago. Interesting, Max identified himself as other. By his appearance, he could pass for white, however, he was mixed with a black mother and a white father. Out of twenty seven the summer interns, there were nine students who were African American. The differences in our cohort were apparent of this. It seemed as if all of the white students (except four) were in the hard sciences and the rest of us were in the soft sciences. Even more strikingly, the group dynamics of the entire summer interns were evident on our down time in the dormitory.

Being undergraduates on our summer vacation, we partied. However, the summer interns partied differently. On one occasion I noticed that there was a party happening upstairs from my dorm. I walked upstairs to find all of the hard science student’s party. Yet, Heather and Max were also in the room. I found that interesting because I don’t recall seeing any of the black students in the room. I am not implying that there was or is anything wrong with the picture. On the other hand, I do not recall being invited to the party. Even though, I know that any dorm or house party is open to all who want to join in the fun. Yet, I felt as if my presence was not wanted. No one said anything to me expressing their displeasure in my presence. But nothing had to be said for me to feel the cold uncomfortableness of that moment. Shortly after making my observations, I left and returned to my room. Later, I asked the other black summer interns if they had heard about the party. No one said that they were invited. At that moment, we realized that something was different between the upstairs summer interns and the downstairs summer interns.

Of course, group dynamics suggests that the people you spend the time with the most are the ones you would hang out with more often. However, at this time, it felt as if it was done purposely without them even knowing that it was on purpose. That night we had discussed the differences between the summer interns upstairs and the ones that were downstairs. The ones upstairs were white or non-Hispanic, except for Max and Heather. The ones downstairs were black or Hispanic. It could also be observed the economic difference between the groups. The students upstairs were seemingly more affluent than the students that were downstairs. We left that night walking away with a different understanding of our placement in the program and which spaces we were allowed to venture to.

On another occasion where I recognized the concepts within Revealing Whiteness occurred during my assignments in my lab. Working with Dr. Jin Li was great. I learned a lot under her about research. As I stated before, we were working on a project that would examine the cultural differences of European Americans and Chinese Americans for reading, writing, and oral ability. We found that economic status was a common factor that contributed to access to education. However, I found that I was at a disadvantage as a summer intern. I did not enjoy my experience working in the education lab at Brown University. At times, I felt that because I was new, inexperienced, and from an HBCU that my work always had to be double checked. It is common for an intern to make mistakes and I had my share. On the other hand, it was the role of the advisor to give me the directions I needed to successfully complete the tasks that were given to me. At the end of my summer internship, my advisor and I had a meeting about my work. There were many great accolades given to me for the work that I did. She even said that I would receive a letter of recommendation.

Later, I was discouraged when I inquired about my letter of recommendation my advisor stated, “I thought about your request for a while and decided that I will not be able to write a glowing letter on your behalf. The reason is that we looked at the work you did during the summer and found many errors. Dr. Yamamoto has been spending a lot of time checking and rechecking the data you entered. We have yet to clean all the errors. I know that you are very a capable and motivated student, and you meant to do good work. But because of the state of the work we found, it would be unfair for me to write a letter that presents a different picture. I think that you would be better off asking another faculty member to write you a letter that truly reflects your strength.” Although, I may not be able to pinpoint an exact concept that would relate to Sullivan’s Revealing Whiteness, I could definitely feel an unconscious presence that slipped into her email to me. Previously she stated all interns would receive a letter of recommendation to a point where she disregards all of my “good work” and feels that I did not do a good enough job to receive a letter of recommendation.

The last incident occurred when I was with my group of friends traveling the streets of downtown Providence. We went to the annual Waterfire cultural events that were held on the waters that flowed through the city of Providence. During this event, the highlighted cultural group was African Americans. After the Waterfire concert, there was a rendition of hip hop and R&B songs that filled the streets. My cohort ventured further downtown to an Italian restaurant for a dinner. During dinner we experienced something that we never would have thought to have felt while we were staying at Brown. A car drove by us and it felt as if I were in the summer of 1967 in Georgia. The car was topless with three white women in it. One of the young ladies was on top of the car and yelled words that struck deep into my core. She exclaimed, “I hate (explicit) niggers,” and the car sped away in the distant night. At that moment, time froze and it was if we were in a still framed picture of the civil rights moment of the 1960’s. All that was needed was a few dozen police officers, a barking dog ready to be released, a few fire hoses spraying water while we were eating, and the chants of others with the same words. But this did not happen. Yet, this scene and that moment were weighted to feel as if those images were present. I looked at the white students in my cohort and they looked astonished. As if I could tell what they were thinking, the expressions said, “What are you going to do.” I had a bottle in my hand and if I had thought about it what I would have done was throw it at the car. But then I am glad I didn’t because what would that resolve or prove. Even worse, would I be publicly thronged for acting out of character; another black Negro that did not know how to control his emotions in public. Finally, as we were walking away from that situation and that night, one of my friends broke down and cried and exclaimed, “No matter how far we go, no matter how much education we will get, we will still be nothing but niggers to them.” Brandon tried to explain the situation away with reason and intellect. But the moment was more than just what was said but what was felt. That moment made us feel so low while attending a prestigious Ivy League

Sullivan states, “ethical slippages and phantoms – these concepts describe a society’s collective unconscious in its complex fluid relationship with individual habits and capture the broad geographical and historical expanse of habit formation.” It is possible that over time and with Providence’s historical roots as being the founding cities of this nation that there are several phantoms that still exist. Sullivan suggests that cultural habits and collective habits give the fuel to individual unconscious habits. She also notes that the “collective unconscious habits of white privilege…both do and do not seem to exist." In my interactions with the students who were student interns there was this collective unconscious that existed but did not exist. I could not readily call their actions as racism because some of them did not realize that their actions were racist. Moreover, their actions portrayed what Sullivan describes as the phantom that slips into their unconscious behaviors toward the minority cohort.

Furthermore, Sullivan describes the space that creates and is created by white privilege. She notes that, “Space, race, and place are constituted transactionally such that space is raced and that bodies raced through their lived spatiality.” She further explained that, “the idea of space as racially neutral often is complicit with white privilege, that spatiality can contribute to the racial and racist division of a civilized “we” from a wild “them,” and that systems of white domination respectively tend to allow and constrain white and non-white people to live their spatiality in different way.” Thus, my interaction with the student interns was the creation of spaces that were divided to the “we” and “them” concept. The very fact that majority of the minority student lived downstairs and the majority of the majority students lived upstairs created the physical space that also constituted the lived spatiality that Sullivan describes. It was as if the space formed the racist habits and played out in our interactions with each other. These actions are a phantom-like in that they are there and not there at the same time. Thus, the effects of white privilege are there and not there, influencing our actions consciously and subconsciously.

Sullivan furthers her understanding of these spaces by stating that, “the conception of space and habits of lived spatiality as race-free constitutes a false neutrality that makes invisible the inequalities of raced space, rendering one powerless in the face of, and often complicit with, racism.” In the case of my research advisor, I believed that she was not acting in a racist way, however, her actions were complicit with the historical and embedded notions of white privilege in a conservative community. What strikes me as odd in this context is that my advisor and the other RA’s were of Asian ethnicity. Of course, I recognized that I have made my mistakes on that research project; however, I believe that there were some notions of ontological expansiveness. The place in which these actions occurred only furthered the agenda of white privilege. Sullivan suggests that, “the rhetoric of place often combines with settled habits of space to simultaneously encourage the ontological expansiveness of white people and constrain the lived spatiality of non-white people.” The actions of my advisors to check and recheck my work was unconsciously suggesting that I did not belong in that place and although they were minorities themselves, the agenda of white privilege to encourage ontological expansiveness was only fostered in that environment.

My experience at Brown University in the summer of 2010 allowed me to have several appropriate relationships as Sullivan described. By this I mean that I was in situations where the appropriate relationship was that of the appropriation of my creativity. Further, I can draw connections to the appropriations of generations of African American’s before. In the experience I had at the African American festival that led to the horrible comment that was made to me and the group, we were in a situation of an appropriate relationship. The appropriate relationship occurred during the time of the festival. It was obvious that the locals were not used to celebrating African American culture. In fact, most of the cultural festivals are geared towards other groups. African American’s only got one day to celebrate our heritage. Yet, we were not wanted. Sullivan suggests that, “if a dominant group will not voluntarily make room for oppressed groups’ needs and desires – and dominant groups rarely do – then oppressed groups might need to create a separate space in which they can develop, nurture, and satisfy them.” At the end of the summer, during this cultural event we tried to create this space after being bombarded with ontological expansiveness of white privilege. To our chagrin, we were called niggers. Even worse, we were told by a white woman how much she hated African Americans. It was at this moment, I realized how much we were not wanted in this space or place. I also realized that no matter what we did through the creativity of our intelligentsia in education that it did not matter. Thus, my friend wailed, “No matter how far we go, no matter how much education we will get, we will still be nothing but niggers to them!”

Through the reading of Sullivan and analyzing the case study, I have realized that I have finally come to terms with that summer. In order to be social justice advocates, we need to recognize the collective unconscious habits of white privilege that are there and not there. I must actively engage in the practice of resistance. I also realized that even African Americans can become complacent and complicit to the powers of white privilege. As much as our history would dictate our actions in the civil rights movement, we cannot just simply call someone or their actions as racist. In order to be freedom fighters to resist racial inequalities we must help our counterparts become more aware of the white privilege that operates in our institutions, social interactions, and environments. Sullivan suggests that any activist needs to continually the effects of our activism on ourselves and in the world. We must individually take responsibility to expose and change them with the hopes to stop the attempts of unconscious habits of white privilege. I will always remember what Emmitt Till’s mother said, “I have no reason to hate, but I will pursue justice for the rest of my life.”